summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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