My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm bleeding and have questions
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
