I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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