I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
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We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
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alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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