You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize
