College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
