i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
