a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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