yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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