I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
