Quick, to the slutcave!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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