totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
