i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
i now understand why vodka
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
