under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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