if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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