are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
