...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
one two three fourrrrnication!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
