I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
