I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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