went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
