Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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