i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize