Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
