Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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