i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
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he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
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A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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