i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
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