i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
