Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We are two peas in an std pod
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
