butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
