What tipped you off? The sombrero?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
