bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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