just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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