I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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