I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
