Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
