so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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