So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
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watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
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The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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