I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
