now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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