I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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