I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
