its not stalking. its research.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
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My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
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I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.