I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
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I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
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at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets