you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
