Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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