I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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