she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
