Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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