You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.