so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??