TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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