Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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