you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
