I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
When are your genitals available?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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