I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
