you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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