We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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