Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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