She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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