PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
