I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
