I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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