You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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