Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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