first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
