She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize