she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We are all done wearing pants today
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
