What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
